I Ain't No Pretzel Chump

On my flight this afternoon from Atlanta to NYC, I was the victim of a severe pretzel inequity.The beverage cart on my side of the aisle had the same drinks as the one on the other side of the aisle, oh sure. But pretzels?My pretzel distributor was distributing horrendous Fisher Pretzels; the other side was getting Cape Cod pretzels.Fisher pretzels are gross, stale awkward lumps of cracker with a salty crust. Cape Cod pretzels are thin, delectable and shaped like lighthouses. Something had to be done!So I flagged down a Cape Cod pretzel distributor and said: "Hey can I get some of those pretzels?"She gave me a strange look and threw me a bag.I ain't no pretzel chump.