Archie McPhee

Growing up, Craig was a big collector. He collected matchbox cars, stamps, shells, stickers, Star Wars action figures. "You name it, I collected it," he tells me now.

By the time he entered fifth grade, he started collecting what he and his friend Joe referred to as "Creepers." He recalls: "These were basically rubber skeletons and animals--frogs, lizards, snakes, bats, bugs--and we treated them like action figures and played creeper games and created a whole universe like Dungeons and Dragons."

[That's young Craig on the right.]

For Craig's 11th birthday, he wanted to go down to Seattle and go to a store that would sell cool creepers to add to his collection. His dad, Steve, did research and discovered the store that would prove to be Creeper Shangri-La: Archie McPhee.

Years later, Archie McPhee is still standing and has expanded into a giant novelty emporium. On our most recent trip to Seattle, Craig dragged took me there to experience its wonders before driving up to Bellingham.

You may be wondering: "Adam, what does any of this have to do with food? You're a food blogger, right?"

Reader, I share your concern, but take heart: Archie McPhee is filled with gastronomic wonders.

For example, what food lover wouldn't want to own this bacon and egg tote bag?

Or this witty tongue-in-cheek alternative?

Ok, you're not convinced yet.

But perhaps you're getting married soon and you're one of those bacon-obsessed grooms who wants to celebrate your porcine predilections in a sartorial sense. Look no further!

Or let's say you're already married and you have children and you can't afford to take them around the world or even to EPCOT to experience the world's various food cultures. Here are four instant solutions:

Or let's say you're craving the taste of franks n' beans but also craving the taste of bubble gum. Or craving a fruit cake and a mint at the same time:

You know the worse thing about cupcakes? You can't drink them. But now you can!

Look, I'm as unconvinced as you are, but since we took this trip to Archie McPhee I figure it merited a post. I know some of you will ask: "Did you try the Franks n' Beans gum or the cupcake drink?" The answer to that question is an adamant "no."

As for Craig, he didn't find any new Creepers, though he did buy me a pickle keychain (next time you see me, ask to see my keys and you'll see it):

Also, he promised to cook Thanksgiving dinner next year which my whole family's excited about. Until they jab their fork into the turkey: